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The Best Blog Ever...Not Really

demonologys:

you people should  learn about the goetic demons like for example:

image

this is prince stolas, he is a long legged owl demon who teaches knowledge about astronomy and herbs to anyone who conjures him

whats not cool about an owl demon




  • God: and so, adam and eve, it is your duty to name aaaaall of my beautiful creations, flora and fauna. my only restriction is that you do not eat from the tree of knowledge
  • God: also dont roll up the magical green leaves and smoke them
  • Adam: alright im gonna call this one a lion... this ones a monkey...
  • Serpent: hey yo adam why dont you roll a joint with me
  • Adam: i dunno man god said i shouldnt
  • Serpent: hey fuck god this shits excellent. all the other kids are doing it
  • Adam: ehhhh ok i guess
  • (later)
  • Adam: ehehehehe ok and you're the woodcock. ahahaha wood cock. and you're the great tit. hehehe great tits
  • Eve: (walks in eating cheetos) dude lets call this one the BLUE FOOTED BOOBY
  • Adam and Eve: (uproarious laughter)
  • God: cmon what the fuck guys

tibets:

this is the 2nd time i’m reblogging this today because i laughed just as hard  as i did the 1st time i saw it


"Wanna know the fucking truth? Nobody is fucking happy. Nobody has skin made from oil paint and sunlight. Nobody fucking understands this world. Fuck, nobody probably understands math as much as they claim. You’re here one day and the next you’re not. God? Religion? I’ve learned a lot more about the world by eating acid and swallowing pills. Tell me what your church has done for you? Tell me if you have holes in your mouth from speaking lies? Wanna know the fucking truth? Pity is just another word for pathetic. Drink beer and watch the sunrise from every rooftop. Take photographs naked. Take photographs kissing. Take photographs having sex. Stop making everything about sexuality. Wanna know the fucking truth? Nobody really gives a damn if you lost your virginity at fourteen or if you were the president in high school. Wanna know the fucking truth? There is no such thing as the right person. People leave. They change like ocean currents, they leave you with bruises in your calves. And you wanna know the fucking truth? You get better. You learn to love. You find God in between the cracks of a wall when you’re puking your limbs out. You wanna know the fucking truth? Go find it."

something someone should have told me when i was eighteen  (via irynka)


yesings:

what if i died in like twenty years and all i left my girlfriend was a box and like she gasps and reaches down to her chest where her key necklace hangs that i gave her twenty two years ago, and she uses it to unlock the box and all that is in there is a string which you can pull to reveal an embarrassing photo of spongebob at the christmas party




banderboucher:

it’s not a sunday unless you completely waste it then feel really sad around 8pm




reallifebfg:

georgeslays:

The reasons to love the British Royal family never end

It’s like they’re in a sitcom.


pantheraj:

"HELLO INFANT I AM BELUGA WHALE"

"YOU ALSO ARE BALD AND HAVE A BULBOUS FOREHEAD. LET US BE FRIENDS FORTHWITH."



I try to make this blog about my life, but I really just blog about random things.





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